In the Aftermath of Defeat
by AcornTreeTurtle
Summary: A series of one-shots, all bound under a single title and centered around a tragic event. No two-or four-people handle the same experience in the same way. How will each brother face himself when their darkest hours come calling? I do not own TMNT or the characters; that copyright belongs to Nickelodeon. However, I do own my words and all their forms.
1. No Relief for the Accused

No Relief for the Accused

White light, glowing bright in blinding brilliance, scattered in deadly branches across a horizon of darkness like a warning shot fired from heaven above. The peaceful silence blanketing the air was soon torn to shreds by a roar of power that deafened every listening ear, and what once was a calm night was now a thrashing mess of purposeless anger. In the low rumble that remained, a fury previously restrained was set loose, and it ravaged the city without mercy.

The obvious dangers the storm possessed demanded the common sense of indoor shelter, but one lone figure dared to challenge logic as he stood unwavering at the highest point he could find. The reason for his choice, whether out of insanity or apathy, was unclear, for he had been standing there many hours. Endless drops of rain beat against his body in an attempt to drive him from the position he had taken, but there he remained. Even as a chilling wind nipped his fingers to numbness, the figure ignored the deadly force of weather and shooed it away as if it were a common mutt begging for his attention. His blank eyes stared up into the swirling clouds, his thoughts mirroring the conflict displayed in the celestial tantrum.

_ "Why did this have to happen? How could I have _let_ this happen? Why, in his one time of need, was I not there to protect him? I failed him. I should have gone back, I should have been there…But how was I to know?_

_ "No. No excuses. This is your fault, you should have known better. You should have known!"_

Clenching his jaw and narrowing his eyes, Leonardo trembled under the conviction he faced.

_"You are the leader, YOU are the one who is responsible for this. What a fine leader you turned out to be…One that, because of your inability to listen, allowed him to be taken away. Gone. Vanished without a trace. Oh, the mess you have gotten yourself into this time. You're an idiot…AN IDIOT!"_

A clap of thunder suddenly erupted from the sky, shaking every bone in the blue leader's body and striking fear into his once courageous heart. Shadows of memory began to prey upon his weakened state, and as they wrapped their icy fingers around him, the lashes of rain and crashes of lightning became less and less known until they faded into nonexistence altogether. The physical realm was gone, and all he knew was his own wrath consuming and snatching from him the peace he had held so near and dear. Amplifying his fresh sorrow was guilt, guilt born from events that should not have transpired. Doubt shrouded itself in the fears of his mind, and it whispered to him from unreachable places as it mocked the torment he supposedly brought on himself.

_"Your incompetency is the one factor that prevented you from saving him, you know that deep down. It wouldn't have been that hard, had you not been so foolish…The wisdom of a fool's pride, how complete your demise. What were you thinking at the time, anyway? You knew something was up, yet you chose to ignore it…"_

With a sharp growl, Leo tore his gaze from the rampaging downpour above to study to the weather-beaten rooftops below. In the rebound of rain, a heavenly glow was cast upon the damp buildings, veiling them in misty wonder. The constant pound of water bathed the concrete streets in cleaning precipitation, and left no alley untouched in its sweeping conquest. A deep longing ached inside of Leo to feel the same sensation, to see his heartache swept away along with the filth of the city's deepest and darkest corners.

_ "Why delude yourself with false comforts? You know nothing can ever erase the past, nothing can ever ease your mighty pain…"_

_ "No, I can't ease my pain, but I can learn to live through it. I can learn from my mistakes. I've already failed once, and I'm not going to fail again."_

_ "Promises, promises! You don't know the future, you don't know what it holds! You don't know if this will happen again, in some other time, in some other place. You're weak. Insignificant. Worthless. You're never going to trust yourself again, not after the trust you've broken…"_

A shriek of wind blew past Leo, tugging the blue tails of his mask in its wild stampede about the drenched city. The constant strain of self-hatred and mistrust finally snapped his last tie of tolerance, and with body quivering and jaw grinding he gave in at last. Throwing his head back, the blue leader unleashed his frustration and despair in a blind scream that embodied the very anguish from which his soul was suffering.

Leo's royal blue eyes glinted with raw emotion as he yelled into the heavens, "I'm sorry!"

Salty tears streamed down his face, mingling with fresh rainwater to splash onto the ground. Leonardo's shoulders shook with heavy sobs as he sank to his knees, and he whispered in a hoarse voice, "I'm sorry…Father…"


	2. Nothing to be Done

Nothing to be Done

Home. A place typically associated with comfort, peace, and shelter. A place where memories are formed and cherished, and where little children seek protection from the harshness of the outside world. A place that now, for this broken family, was lying in ruin.

Nudging aside a slab of concrete with his foot, Donatello gradually cleared a path for himself through the remnants of his shattered life. Dust torn from the insides of drywall hung heavily in the air, coating the damaged walls and furniture in powdery fluff. Pipes wrenched from their hidden alcoves in the ceiling were smashed to pieces, and their contents dripped mournfully onto floors marred with disarray.

As the purple scientist gazed sadly at the area that once was their living room, he felt the full weight and impact of defeat sink onto his shoulders.

_"They destroyed everything…_everything_…I knew the Foot would be ruthless if they ever got the chance to hit us where it hurts most, but I never thought it would really happen. I never thought the day would come where they'd actually win…"_

Donnie stumbled from the remains of the living room, past the gaping hole that previously housed the kitchen, and to the place formerly known to him for its escape into solitude. Placing a gentle hand on the large doors to his lab, he flinched as they suddenly gave way with a screech, crashing to the ground in an explosion of dust.

Carefully, Donnie groped his three fingers along the wall as he stepped into the inky darkness. The elusiveness of the light switch irritated him to the point of near-anger, but at last he flipped it on with a soft click. The purple scientist drew in a sharp gasp at the sight before him, and his knees threatened to give way beneath him as he stared ahead in astonishment.

Beakers of experimental liquid he had concocted now lay in fragments, and shards of metal ripped from their machine homes were strewn across the floor. What struck Donnie most, however, was not the besieged condition of his lab. He was fully expecting that. Rather, it was the bare shelves that brought him to his knees in agony. Every single invention and blueprint he had made was gone, taken by the Foot during their raid. Donnie's head reeled as the thought of his research being used by the enemy filled him with nausea, for with only a few minor tweaks his once harmless inventions could be transformed into weapons of mass destruction.

_ "What have I done? What have _we_ done? This…this has gone too far…too far ever to fix…"_

Donnie buried his face in his hands as tears began to fall from his brown eyes, and he pulled his knees tight to his body.

_"My brothers used to say I could fix anything, no matter how damaged or broken it was. But I have reached my limit with this. I can't fix our broken lives, I can't fix what's not there anymore…Especially if the person we need most has been ripped from our grasp. But what hurts even more was that he was taken right when our backs were turned. I-I still can't believe he's actually gone…We don't even know if the Shredder has kept him alive or…"_

A painful sob suddenly rocked his body, burning his throat with fresh waves of sorrow. As Donnie lifted his tear-stained face from his hands, he said in a raspy voice, "I-I miss you, Sensei. I'm s-sorry for all the times I've taken your wisdom for granted, or when I've disobeyed y-y-your instructions. Please come back to us, please…If I ever see you again, I promise I'll spend more time with you, be one of the four sons you've always wanted…"

Despite the pleas he had thrown into the air, Donnie knew there would be no answer this time. With a miserable sigh, he braced himself against the wall and eased himself up off the concrete floor. Spotting a broom lying nearby on the ground, he grasped the dented handle and studied the cleaning tool in thought. Quietly, his motions robotic and stiff, he began to sweep away the mess in his lab.

_"There's nothing to be done now except pick up the pieces and move on. I guess that's all I can do right now. The world will continue to spin regardless of what happens in life, and I must continue on as well. Though on the inside I may feel like giving up and throwing in the towel, I know I can't do that. Not now, and not ever…"_

Donatello's expression remained a detached neutral as he continued to clean, his wounded spirit set aside in order to survive the loss driven through his heart.

_"C'est la vie…"_


	3. Nowhere to Run

Nowhere to Run

"Hey! Watch where you're goin', buddy!"

"Why you-Um, I mean, sorry…My mistake."

Despite the apology his words were attempting to convey, the stranger watched with narrowed eyes as the ruffian, whose fault was his own for the collision, threw a final scowl over his shoulder before disappearing into the alleys.

Pulling the trench coat tighter around his abnormally shaped body, the mysterious man stuffed his hands into the deep pockets and hunched his shoulders to further conceal his face. Heavy feet scraped along the cracked sidewalks as he resumed his stroll, the pattern of his footsteps frequently drifting into the shadows of buildings rather than the harsh glare of street lamps. He lifted his head momentarily to deeply inhale the warmth of the night, and a sigh of fleeting pleasure escaped at the smell of a newly cleansed city.

Leftover from the recent beatings of a storm, multiple puddles of various sizes dotted the concrete streets. Their surfaces were smooth and glassy like hundreds of tiny mirrors, but they were instantly shattered only to refuse once more whenever the stranger placed a clumsy foot in the water-filled crevices. Green eyes peered out from under the man's old hat, the usual gleam burning in the electric irises now a fiery blaze of mixed emotions.

_"Finally alone. Finally in the company of the only one I can stand right now, the only one who's not behaving like an idiot. _Me_. I need out. Gotta clear my head…Or so help me the next time I see 'im I'm gonna beat 'im to a pulp. He deserves it, that no-good, smug, two-faced little-"_

Raphael felt his teeth beginning to grind at the thought of his brother, the only one who held rank over him in both age and skill. The one who also, as the red ninja recalled, was the sole reason for their recent tragedy.

An uncontrollable tremor enveloped Raph's clenched fists and tense body, shaking him from head to toe as raw wounds ripped asunder. The agony he had struggled to bury was too fresh for him to forget, and Raph realized with a pained scoff that resistance was indeed futile. He would _never_ being able to forget, much less forgive.

_"It's all his fault. If it wasn't for Leo's brilliant leadership, his oh-so-perfect judgment, none of this would've happened. We wouldn't be here. He was supposed to lead us, to know what was best…That's why he was chosen, after all, wasn't it? How could he have failed us, how dare he fail us-fail Master Splinter?!"_

Echoing in the back of his mind like a lingering headache, the strained voice of their sensei still haunted his memories. Not for the first time since those fateful hours ago, Raphael wished they had listened to their father.

It wouldn't have even been that hard, he recognized. It was uncommon, but not unusual, for their father to ask that his sons refrain from their customary patrol. But even as Raph stood ready to leave the sewers, waiting for the final verdict of their blue-banded leader, he knew this time was different. It might have been the uncharacteristic fear in Master Splinter's eyes, or the strange manner in which he avoided the direct question of why, but those signs fazed his brother not in the least. Leonardo merely smiled and spoke encouraging words to his father, soothing the worries of the elder rat as he weaseled his way into his favor like the snake he was. It wasn't until the brothers had returned home that they found out just how wrong they had been to ignore their father.

_"And you don't even have to pay the price. Master Splinter does. He was innocent, while you-YOU-are guilty! GUILTY! His blood is on your hands, and yours alone, Leo!"_

Fueled by a renewed bitterness, a tidal wave of anger washed over the red ninja, flooding his mind with its poisonous influence.

_"It's your fault!"_

Raphael's walking pace increased unconsciously as rage-filled adrenaline poured into his heart and circulatory system. He dug his fingers into the flesh of his palms, and his jaw clenched tighter until he feared his molars had cracked, but nothing could console the maddening fury.

_"It's your fault!"_

Throbbing in his ears like a deafening drum, the red ninja's pulse was faster than it had ever been in his life. Nothing else existed in his senses-dulled world except the pain drowning in an ocean of grief, and it was too much to bear.

"I HATE YOU!" Raphael finally screamed.

With the blind will of a madman, he drove his fist into the nearest alley wall. The action was met with a sickening crunch followed by a flurry of dust as the solid surface shuddered from the impact, and the brick was soon laced with a spider web of cracks where his hand had struck.

Ignoring the pain that burned in his arm, the red ninja drew back his fist to hit the wall again, and then a third time, until his punches were unending. Each attack became more furious than the last, and chunks of brick fell around him like raindrops in a storm. He didn't stop once, even as his knuckles rapidly began to stain under the brutal beating. Face twisted in a ghastly grimace, Raphael grunted in aguish after every impact, the self-inflicted torture blinding him from the tears streaming down his face.

Suddenly, a low groan rumbled from the now-decimated wall. The gaping hole Raph had created widened as dislodged bricks tumbled to the ground without assistance, and the offending terrapin watched in awe as the entire structure began to sway. He was lucky to have jumped back in time before the upper half of the wall crashed to the ground with a thunderous boom.

In the deathly silence that followed, Raph was left alone and shocked at what he had done. A heavy cloud of brick dust gradually surrounded him in a choking fog, the rust colored particles staining his trench coat and collecting in the wide brim of his hat.

Raphael's shoulders began to quiver as he stifled the wracking sobs, and he covered his face with his hands. Wet streaks running through smudges of dirt flowed freely down the ninja's cheeks, the salty tears falling from his chin to merge with the puddles on the ground.

"It's my fault, it's _our_ fault…" he whispered hoarsely.

Despite the horrifying realization it possessed, deep down he knew it was true. He, and every one of them, were as much to blame as his older brother for their father's abduction, and the truth was unbearable.

Police sirens alerted to the disturbance began to wail in the distance, their unmistakable sound snapping Raphael out of his trance. Quickly flipping up the collar of his coat, he stumbled away from the scene of the crime and ran as fast as he could.


	4. No Hope for the Broken

**Hello! I just wanted to quickly add that this is the final one-shot in my series. My sad tale is at an end!**

**Thank you for reading "In the Aftermath of Defeat"!**

**Until next time ;)**

* * *

No Hope for the Broken

He had not moved in what seemed like an eternity, the same blank look on his face as he stared with unseeing eyes at the same blank wall. Regular breaths entered and exited his lungs, but the circulating oxygen provided no life for the colorless shadow of a ninja. Utterly defeated in body and soul, he had given in to the dismal fate thrust upon him.

The living nightmare had only begun, he numbly realized, and it would never go away. No amount of time or even sleep, whatever that was anymore, could sate the grief driving his shattered family to ruin. Peace was like a memory forgotten long ago, a dream that withered when the sunlight of reality fell upon it, and it was the first to abandon them those long hours ago.

Blinking his once bright blue eyes, Michelangelo released a weary sigh. His limbs, heavy with an unbearable exhaustion, shifted slightly on the couch as he turned his head in the direction of the kitchen. Sadness weighed his heart down even further at the sight of his older brother on his hands and knees, still attempting to pick up broken pieces of glass from the floor. Donatello had not rested since they came home to their desolated living quarters in the sewers. Dark circles rimmed his chocolate eyes, and his great height was permanently diminished from the constant burden he carried, but he never stopped.

The orange ninja suddenly stumbled on a damaged beam, though thankfully his years of ninjitsu training prevented him from completely wiping out. Glancing down at the offensive obstacle, Mikey discovered he had not tripped over a beam at all. It was a broken branch, its gnarled bark smashed to oblivion after having been torn from its home. He tilted his head back to see that the ancient tree was now cleaved nearly in half, and the previously noble crown of leaves had begun to turn a sickly brown.

He was in the dojo. Confusion reflected briefly in Michelangelo's dulled eyes, for he had no memory of leaving the couch in the living room. However, the surprise passed quickly. After all, he had been caught by Donatello more than once staggering aimlessly around the sewers in a daze. With a noise faintly resembling a hollow laugh, Mikey recalled that was why he had been positioned on the couch in the first place, to have somewhere to sit and maybe end his pitiful wandering.

Leaving the fallen tree branch behind, Michelangelo swept his despondent gaze around the dojo. It was the place he and his brothers had spent their lives training in the way of the ninja, and memories were etched into every feature of the room. The weapons rack, where the turtles had first chosen their characteristic weapons, was now thrown down with every staff and sword destroyed beyond repair. Reminiscent of Master Splinter's ancestry in Japan, the ornate shoji screen of samurai warriors burned away into oblivion as fire greedily consumed the rice paper. Even the elder rat's sacred shelf, which held his precious mementos from the human life he had once lived, revealed the heartless disrespect the Foot clan had for the great ninjitsu master.

_"Father…"_

Tears welled up in the young mutant's eyes at the thought of their adopted father being held captive by the enemy, and he laboriously choked back sobs. The numbness that had paralyzed his body began to fade, leaving Mikey alone to suffer in the rawness of his misery. His mouth and mind could not even find the words to articulate the heartache he felt, for words were utterly weak in a time like this.

Through the damp fog clouding his vision, Mikey suddenly caught a glimpse of something that had not been completely ruined by the raid. With trembling fingers he grasped the charred wooden frame as he knelt to the ground, and a sad smile quivered on his lips upon recognition. It was a photo of him, his brothers, and Master Splinter, taken by April after she had insisted they have at least one picture together as a whole family. It was clear in their photographed faces that they all found it a little odd for her to be so adamant about this particular human custom, but they were grateful nonetheless.

Mikey ran a tender hand over the picture, being careful not to cut himself on the cracked glass. A lump of sorrow caught in his throat as he noticed Master Splinter's face obscured by a particularly nasty fracture. Screwing his eyes tightly shut to block an onslaught of tears, he let his head droop until it rested on the memory in his hands. A great fear, though it started out as a small seed hidden in his heart, quietly crept to the surface of his conscience as he whimpered softly.

_"What happens to us now?"_

The only one who had the power to hold their family together through even the hardest times was snatched from their grasp, and with him all hope of survival. Without their father as the ultimate peacemaker and leader, Mikey feared the small band of brothers would split apart, each going his own separate way when differences arose and anticipated arguments ensued. As the orange ninja sniffled dejectedly, he knew exactly where that would leave him. He would be alone and forgotten, doomed to wander in solitude without purpose in this world.

The hushed sound of footsteps upon pavement roused Mikey momentarily from his mourning, and he lifted his head to listen. Hearing Donatello greet the visitor with a casual, "Hey, Raph", he knew his older brother had returned from the world above.

Before Raphael had the chance to extend the purple scientist a similar greeting, a second pair of footsteps echoed closely behind Raph's heels, and the words that followed were not welcoming at all.

"Where have you been, Raph?! You were supposed to stay here and help Donnie clean up, not go running to the surface behind my back!" shouted Leonardo as he stormed into the living room.

"Behind your back? Oh, ho ho, so the almighty Leo _does_ admit he left! Where'd you go? Up to the surface? I'm not surprised. It's just like you to leave us cleaning up the mess while you run off like it's not your job to help! Some leader you are!"

"And it's just like _you_ to _always_ run away from your problems!"

"_My _problems?! How dare you turn this on me like it's my fault, HOW DARE YOU!" Raphael roared, the reverberation in his voice causing the very ground to tremble slightly beneath Michelangelo's feet.

The argument sharply escaladed with Raph's vocal intensity as Leo attempted to counter his younger sibling's accusations, and the sewers were instantly filled with the hatred that consumed the two brothers. Cupping his hands over the sides of his head, Mikey sought to block out their bitter fight. It was already happening. What was left of their family was already beginning to break up, and there was nothing he could do to stop it.

Donatello frantically struggled to make himself heard above his older brothers, the veins in his neck and forehead becoming more prominent from the strenuous effort. With a final shout for silence, he spread his hands between the pair as he gasped for breath.

"Stop…Stop it…Both of you…" Donnie pleaded in-between gulps of air. Weary from lack of rest, and using the last ounce of strength he had left to keep Leo and Raph from lunging at each others' throats, he feebly stated, "You're brothers. We all are, and now more than ever we need to start acting like it. Do you want our family to fall apart even more, is that it? Is that what you want?!"

Donatello stared down each of the instigators, daring them for an answer, but they refused to even lift their faces and meet his menacing glare.

"It's not what he would've wanted."

Startled by the mouse-like voice that seemingly materialized out of thin air, the three ninjas turned around and saw their baby brother standing beside them.

Michelangelo, looking down at the broken picture frame still in his hand, continued listlessly, "This isn't what Master Splinter would've wanted to happen. He would've wanted us to stay together and…and..."

A large teardrop splashed onto the photograph to seep through the glass and stain the face of a happier Mikey, smudging the beaming smile he once wore. He stood before them now as a person who appeared to have passed from this world into the great beyond, a ghost. But like all ghosts, he seemed to linger, and he abruptly snapped his head up to stare into the eyes of his brothers with an urgent intensity. Guilt, fury, and regret, all mixed together with a common pain, ravaged each of their souls like insatiable monsters born from the nightmare they were forced to live.

He, however, was empty. A vast, uncrossable chasm had engulfed whatever Michelangelo was before, presenting him as a barren shell of who he once was. His baby blue eyes were a dull shade of grey, and the healthy glow normally surrounding him had dimmed to a colorless pallet.

As Donatello gazed upon the young terrapin, watching his small frame begin to tremor uncontrollably, he felt his own eyes well up with tears. Reaching out to wrap his arms around Mikey, he gently shushed the wracking sobs even as he himself wept.

"It's going to be alright…It's going to be alright…" the purple scientist repeated, running a soothing hand over his baby brother's shell in a comforting gesture. Donatello knew, though, with grim certainty that it would take a miracle for things to turn in their favor, and even then it was clear nothing would ever be the same as it was.

Clinging to his sibling like he was a lifeline atop a thrashing ocean, Mikey poured out every fear and uncertainty he had in the form of streaming rivers. He jolted slightly when he sensed a second pair of arms envelop him, immediately followed by a third, but he soon relaxed as his three older brothers sought to comfort him and each other in the only way they could. They were as powerless as children after a life changing tragedy, only able to stand by helplessly while their existence was stripped from them, and they all knew it with bitter resentment.

"It's not going to end like this." Leonardo croaked through his tears. A tiny fire of his former determination flickered to life once more in the depths of his sapphire eyes, and he hungrily fed the flame as he whispered in a stronger voice, "We're going to get through this together, as we always have. We're a family, and family sticks together, no matter what. I swear this to you now, we will get our father back, and we will not be defeated. Never again will we let them get the better of us. Never again."

Mikey raised his eyes to the face of the blue leader, a shadow of hope passing across his solemn features. Then, to the astonishment of them all, even himself, he smiled.

"I know, Leo." he said quietly. "As long as we're together, we'll be ok…"

Michelangelo gave each of his brothers another warm smile, as if to reassure any doubts they had about his words. Wiping away the abundant tears, he unburdened a heavy sigh. They were going to be alright.


End file.
